Remember how my nickname around here is “Internet Girl” – yes, a reputation I’ve earned. Lately though, I’m feeling more like a walking contradiction than an “Internet Girl.” Here’s why: I want to be unplugged more and away from my computer and smart phone. Why?
The answer is simple. Living doesn’t actually take place huddled in front of, or behind, a screen. There are no real friendships that take place online. There aren’t apps that take the place of fresh air, exercise, and taking time to smell the roses. You can’t download digging in the dirt or hiking on a trail. We all have to unplug to actually live.
While I want everyone online – reading my content, of course! – and liking or following, it’s becoming clear to me that we all need to put down the smart phones, screens, and come out from behind our computers. Sitting for long hours in front of a screen is bad for our health and looking down at our phones can be down right dangerous – especially when driving or walking.
How to do it? Unplug. Turn off the devices. Leave the phone behind. It’s hard – I know – not to check.
Making Time for What Matters
Here’s how we do it – and it mostly works.
- Technology Free Sundays :: Yes, the internet is off on Sundays – still. (This began as a New Year’s Resolution several years ago and has stuck.) Guess what? It’s the only day our land-line telephone rings. Guess what else? Teenagers know how to make phone calls and all the teens who call here on Sundays couldn’t be any more polite or pleasant. I love it! Do my teens love it? Nope. They somehow leave homework that requires reading on the web or an update to a Google Drive item until Sunday. We, their parents, are onto them but honestly, they’re good sports about leaving the texting to other days. (Here’s how screen time is like potato chips.)
- No social media :: This is a family commitment but none of us have social media accounts – personally. Yes, you can like, follow, or see Go Gingham professionally Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram but we’ve made it a family policy not have those. Parents and kids alike. None. Nothing. Period.
- Wait :: Not until you’re seventeen – or around there – do you get the privilege of getting a smart phone. Our eighteen-year-old son got his first smart phone at the age of seventeen. He and I got smart phones at the same time – even though I’m not crazy about texting and dragged my feet about the entire thing. He payed for the phone himself and pays for his service. He doesn’t have any data plan on his phone. If he had had a cell phone earlier, I would have rescued him more often and he would have asked me to rescue him. He’s still alive after taking public transportation, public buses, and airline flights without a cell phone. Life without cell phones is good for kids. It’s not a necessity in life.
- Screen Free Vacations :: Camping is great for unplugging! If you’re not a camper, please unplug for your next vacation. (Here’s our camp cooking supplies routine.) That’s all I can say. Car trips aren’t the same when kids are looking at screens or watching movies while the parents drive but honestly – how can they see the scenery? Let them fight and argue and work things out in the back seat – just ignore them. Can’t go an entire vacation without? Don’t allow them at the dinner table or during family time. Somehow, set limits. Parents – you’ve got the power!
- Timer :: Our wifi router is on a timer. It goes off at night around 10pm and turns back on in the morning. It also goes off for about an hour during the middle of the day. This forces everyone (myself included) to take a break and put down the screens. It’s a timer that you would use to turn lights off and on when you’re away. I highly recommend automating the internet. It does everybody and every body good to take a break from the world wide web and this is the insurance policy that makes it happen daily – mostly.
Why do I say “mostly works?” There are always exceptions and with kids, especially teens, you’ve got to pick your battles. Just because it doesn’t always work doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing most of the time. Family policies and rules around technology and social media help us live in the moment and be present. Take a digital detox and enjoy family time – or time alone. It’s amazing how rich life can be when we make time for what’s really important.
How do you make time for what matters most? Are you feeling the need to have ‘screen free time?’
Go Gingham related links:
Parenting: Children’s Allowances
Social Networking and Parents Behaving Badly
Piano Lessons – they’re an indulgence at our house – time and money
Time tested family rules – who knew these would work?
Go Gingham 
HERE HERE, Sara! Many times I’ve been on holidays with my niece and nephew and they missed beautiful scenery because their eyes were glued to their phones. It’s sad, really.
LikeLike
Thanks, Vanessa! Not sure everyone agrees with this attitude but really – people need to put down their devices – myself included.
Sunday is our offline day and I can’t wait!!
Thanks for chiming in and agreeing with me 🙂
LikeLike
Sometimes I think you are my “virtual” twin. I know you won’t be surprised to know I feel the same way. I have a friend who is a middle school counselor and she makes the exact same points that you do in your potato chip/screen time post–that we have a whole generation of kids growing up not learning essential communication skills because you don’t learn the nuances of reading facial expressions, etc., during communication if your primary mode of communication is texting and Facebook posts. Screen time is almost a necessity of modern life and finding the balance can be tricky, but you seem to have found it.
As always, I appreciate it when you share how you have navigated the waters with your kids. That’s interesting that you haven’t allowed social media. My kids know that Facebook isn’t an option until they are at least 13 (the legal age). I don’t think my son cares one way or the other, but I’m betting my daughter will want an account at some point in time. At this time, my thought about social media and phones is that I’d like them to be older (maybe 15 or so?) when they use them but still under my roof so I can both monitor what goes on as well as teach them ways to protect themselves and use these tools safely. I don’t have any hard-and-fast opinions–just observing what other parents do, what works, what doesn’t …
LikeLike
I know Kris! We do seem to be on the same page.
Really, the legal age of Facebook has nothing to do with your family’s values or rules. Just saying.
Honestly, now that we have an 18yo, he could have Facebook. His phone is no longer our business but he has the critical thinking that comes with maturity to handle it now without us looking over his shoulder.
Actually, our house got egged 2 nights ago. I mention this because my husband and I were joking that because our kids don’t have social media, they can’t be called out on social channels (hey, I hear about it from other moms!) so they had to go “old school” and toss eggs – and then speed away. Yes, eggs. Luckily, my husband cleaned up – I’m hoping they weren’t organic 😉
I know you and your husband are doing what’s right for your family – I can tell by what you share. That’s what matters. What works for us doesn’t work for everyone and visa versa.
Happy spring!! xo
It
LikeLike
My son knows a lot of kids in his 6th grade who have a Facebook account, and I know that there are many elementary-age kids who have one, as well, and that’s what I was thinking about when I made my comment. I’m not sure when “old enough” occurs, but I definitely don’t think it’s wise to allow your kids to have an account when they aren’t even legally old enough to do so. Besides not having the maturity for it, I think it sends a message to your children that rules like that are made to be broken and that’s just not part of my values in parenting.
I’ve wondered before if you avert some bullying by having kids be older-than-average when they get a cell phone or a Facebook account. Hmmm.
Hope the eggs got cleaned up. They make a terrible mess!
LikeLike
I totally agree, Sara! Your guidelines are so inspirational! We just got back from a family vacation. Before we left, I told the kids that I wanted to minimize the tech and leave phones, iPads, and laptops at home – but I allowed them to bring a couple devices. Somehow the phones they brought “just for music” ended up being used for texting and my iPhone was pulled out a few times for Google Maps. It was nice to keep the tech to a minimum and it felt good to have time being more connected to each other, but next time, I think I will ask them to leave all of their devices at home!
LikeLike
Annie, I’ve heard that excuse before – the phones for the music! 🙂
I think you’re right that there is a use for the technology (hello – no more getting lost with google maps along!) but balancing it with time away.
Hope you had a good break from the regular routine!!
Thanks for writing in ~
LikeLike
Inspirational to say the least. It’s not easy to negotiate the world today as we know it without these technological marvels, yet unplugging is so crucial. Beautiful post.
LikeLike
Ah…thanks, Minnie! I know that finding time away from being online is good for everyone even thought it can be difficult. It’s worth it!
Thanks for writing in, Minnie! 🙂
LikeLike