Tuesday: Relationships and Money
Relationships and money can cause an uneasy alliance. It can create contentious situations. When you and your honey have differing goals, conflicting ideas or don’t know each other’s financial history, you are setting yourselves up for a losing situation.
Poor interaction regarding finances in your relationship can keep you from reaching your goals. When it comes to money and your honey, there are three main points that need to be a part of the equation. Be on the same team, set financial goals, and work together consistently. That’s it. And, yes, so much easier said than done.
1. Be on the same team
Decide to see each others’ perspective. This is so important. Financial conflict is often times cited as a reason many couples get divorced. Don’t let this be you. Make an effort to find out where you are each coming from. Have budget and money discussions. Set up a meeting time if you need to. Communication is key here.
Equally as important, don’t undercut one another. If one person is out spending all of the money and the other person is trying to save and invest, that’s going to make it hard. Working together helps in two ways. First, you avoid the fights. Second, you achieve your goals much quicker.
2. Set financial goals
Decide together as a team and come to an understanding of what your current spending as well as future savings goals are. Regular discussions and conversations go so much easier when your goals have been agreed upon.
If you’ve both agreed to save for a particular goal (vacation, retirement, college) then it’s much easier to stick with it when the inevitable bumps in the road show up. (I think everyone has their own bumps so I won’t bore you with ours.)
3. Work together consistently
You can’t just set your goals and forget it. You can’t just do things once. You have to revisit your goals, help one another achieve them, and possibly modify them based on life situations. But, since you’re working on your goals together, you won’t be mad when your husband shows up with a new fancy tool (like the power nailer my husband refers to as his “baby”) that he really needed when we replaced the siding on our house.
Let’s be realistic here…this isn’t going to solve all of your money problems but these tips will go a long way toward helping you achieve your financial goals as well as maintaining a peaceful relationship.
Here’s an interesting article about taxes and marriage that you’ll want to read. While money issues is high on the list of why marriages fail, nagging is evidently the number one marriage killer. My husband recently sent me this link. Do you think he’s trying to tell me something?
This post is a part of Women’s Money Week 2012. For more posts about “Relationships and Money” see Women’s Money Week 2012.